


“What The Hell Are You Doing?”

by cdelbridge



Category: johnlock - Fandom
Genre: Butthole sunning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:47:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdelbridge/pseuds/cdelbridge
Summary: I saw the posts about butthole sunning and I couldn’t resist.
Relationships: Johnlock
Comments: 144
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

It was a gorgeous Saturday morning and John had slept late. He had nothing on for the day so unless a case came in he could relax with his blog and telly. He couldn’t wait!

Heading downstairs for morning caffeine to get his day started right, he walked through the sitting room and nearly screamed. His flatmate, Sherlock Holmes, was lying on the floor in a patch of sunlight, totally nude with his legs up in the air.

“What the fuck Sherlock!”, seemed to be the only thing to say.

Sherlock stirred briefly, “oh, morning John. I made coffee if you’re looking for some.”

John hesitantly moved closer to his friend. “Are you all right? Why are you on the floor like that?” 

“I’m fine John. It’s for a case. And I’m almost done. Would you like to go out for breakfast?”

John leaned against the wall and said, “I got that it’s for a case. Care to explain why you’re sunning you arsehole?” And why I can’t stop looking at your body, he silently added.

Sherlock checked his watch then sat up. “A banker was found stabbed to death. He had been acting strangely recently and appears to have fallen under the influence of alternative medicine quacks. One of the theories is that sunning your arsehole everyday for a period of time has all kinds of health benefits. He may have given large sums of money to these gurus.” He stood up and moved nonchalantly towards the kitchen. Still nude, he held up the coffee pot and said, “want some?”

“Yes, please.”, John followed him into the kitchen. “Are you going to get dressed or simply hang out like that all day?”, he gestured at Sherlock’s body.

Pouring coffee, the detective said, “why does my nudity bother you doctor? Surely you’ve seen it all before?” He handed a cup to John and then refilled his own.

“Not the point Sherlock! So tell me more about this case, after you get dressed.” John took his cup and started to go back upstairs. “How about we meet back in twenty and head to breakfast. And I want to hear all about the arsehole sunning benefits”. His voice faded as he headed up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock explains

“Enjoy your meal.” The waitress put their plates down, checked their coffee and then moved on. John waited until she was out of earshot before he spoke.

“OK then.” He took a bite then waved his fork for Sherlock to begin.

Sherlock looked blank for a second then remembered, “oh, the arsehole sunning.” He took a bite then continued, “Mycroft called me about this one. A banker he knew had been having some medical issues and, according to his wife, he’d been very down about it. Then suddenly, last month or so, he seemed better. His wife was delighted and asked what had changed. He happily told her about the alternative medicine quack (my words) he’d met who’d changed his life. His wife was still interested until he started talking about butthole sunning.” He stopped to sip his coffee and take another bite.

”I can imagine.”, John said dryly. “It sounds insane.”

”The idea is by sunning your perineum (not necessarily your arsehole) you absorb all kinds of energy, strengthen the body, sexual benefits, etc. You know, the usual thing these quacks claim. The issue in this case is that they get the person hooked then start charging money to take the person to the “next level” with retreats and such. The person has had some improvement (probably psychosomatic) and they’re desperate so they go along with it.” Sherlock took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. “The banker had cleaned out his savings so he began stealing from the bank.”

“So who killed him?”, John asked. “And where was he found?”

”He was found in his office at the bank. The wife has an alibi but the banker had just returned from a weekend retreat.” Sherlock leaned forward and said, “we need to go undercover at the next retreat.”

John put his coffee cup down and loudly said, “oh hell no! “We” aren’t doing anything! I am not hanging out naked, my legs in the air with a bunch of people I don’t want to see naked while you catch the crooks.”

”Gees John! Are you sure you’re a doctor? The human body shouldn’t be that much of an issue for you! I’ll be there as well and I’m sure there’s some woman there who will think you’re cute.” Sherlock emptied his coffee cup. “Besides,” he beckoned the waitress, “I already told Mycroft we would.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The retreat

“I can’t believe we’re doing this!”, grumbled John from the passenger seat of the rental car. Even though he had complained about going, refused to go and planted himself squarely on the sofa, somehow he found himself with bag packed, in the car and on his way. 

“Oh hush John. What do you object to? Getting out of London? Solving a crime? Oh,” Sherlock grinned, “I get it. You are the most uptight bisexual I’ve ever met.”

John opened his mouth to object but his flatmate beat him to it. “And yes you are bisexual even if you try to deny it. You’ve been with men before, in the military I’m guessing,” a quick look at John, “or do you call it, “helping out a friend”?

John said nothing although he glared at his friend who rambled on.

“Besides,” Sherlock continued, “I’ve seen the way you look at people when we’re out. Both men and women. And I’ve seen the way you look at me. Would you like to jump my bones John?” John stared fixedly ahead. Sherlock continued, “I’m not against it you understand but I was hoping for more than a romp in the hay.”

John turned to his perplexing flatmate and managed to say, “I don’t know if you’re serious or if you’re just fucking with me for fun.”

Sherlock slowed and checked a street sign, “almost there! Ok, remember, we’re boyfriends looking to cure my recent illness. Not that I’m not on the mend but it’s not moving fast enough and we prefer natural alternatives.” Making a neat turn, he pulled into a large parking lot in front of a pleasant looking building with the dubious name “Alternative Realities”.

Opening his door, Sherlock slid out then turned back to John, “oh I’m very serious. But not until you’re ready.” And he shut the car door and moved to get his bag out of the back.

~~~~~~~~~

Sitting on the queen-sized bed in their room, John looked down the list of activities for the weekend. He was going to have to bite his tongue at some of the discussions he knew. First thing in the morning though, he was unhappy to see, was a group sunning. He mentally envisioned a group of people who’d be better off leaving their clothes on, naked and in the position he’d found Sherlock in the other day. He shuddered.

Sherlock came out of the bathroom at that moment. “Ready for dinner? Remember, we’re a couple so some affection will be necessary so we’re believable. Want to practice?”, he asked with a grin.

John stood up and walked towards his friend, saying seductively, “I don’t need to practice.” And he kissed Sherlock’s cheek, patted his arse and said, “come along dearest.”

Sherlock gulped, took the outstretched hand and let himself be led out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and it’s aftermath

Dinner was just bad. The center had gone for tasteless cardboard-like food that they swore was healthy. John thought it inedible and akin to wallpaper paste.

Sherlock hadn’t eaten much either and out of the corner of his mouth suggested they drive into town and find real food. John was all for it. 

Before they could make their escape however, a tall, thin man with dreadlocks moved to the front of the dining room and waved his hands for attention. In a thin, reedy voice he introduced himself as Joe, the owner of the retreat and their guide for the weekend. He promised to lead them on the path to wellness and was looking forward to their morning sunning. He continued with some more vague comments then introduced the “medical guru”, George.

“George? What kind of a medical guru is called George?”, John said with disgust. He was just about to go on, loudly, when Sherlock grabbed his hand and placed it on his crotch. John stopped and turned to his flatmate in amazement. “Why the hell did you do that?”, he whispered fiercely.

“You were about to blow our cover! It shut you up and redirected your ire.” Sherlock grinned, “although feel free to leave your hand there as long as you want.”

John blushed furiously and snatched his hand back. George went on about the health benefits of sunning and how being free of clothing was good for the soul. John tuned out and was thinking about the feel of Sherlock under his hand when he heard, “by the end of the weekend, you will have thrown away your need for pills, caffeine, artificial stimulants and clothing...”

John turned back to his “boyfriend”, “free of clothing? You so fucking owe me!”

~~~~~~

They’d snuck out after the chats for a “ride around the area”. John was muttering loudly about holding hands and singing kumbayah with the other attendees. Sherlock looked blankly at him but John just said, “never mind.”

After finding an open restaurant and eating their fill, they had gone shopping for a coffee maker, coffee, biscuits and other edibles they planned to hide in their room.

“Come on John.”, Sherlock had said when they pulled in the lot. “There’s some research I need to do before tomorrow.”

“Ok,” John grabbed a bag and hid it in his jacket. “There’s only one bed, baby, which I have no issue with but in the spirit of the retreat, I’ll be sleeping naked.”

Sherlock, smiling, followed his friend inside.


	5. The sunning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreaded sunning

Words could not explain John’s reluctance to “sun his anus”. Of all the fucking weird things he’d heard in his life, this had to be in the top five. But yet here he was, in a group of people totally naked, listening to Joe explain how to position themselves correctly.

“Ok everyone! We’re going to do this for a ten minute stretch because you are all newby’s and probably need more sun. So, lay on your backs on your mats. Gentlemen, George is passing out a pillow to put under your buttocks. Why? Well, male genitals dangle!”

John found himself biting his fist to keep from howling with laughter. Turning to his “boyfriend”, he said, “do your balls dangle?” They both snorted.

They were in the back of the group because Sherlock wanted to observe all the participants. John knew he was trying to pick out starry eyed converts who were probably willing to sell their houses to have someone convince them that they felt better and that having a sunburned taint was an everyday occurrence. John mentally shook his head. His practiced medical eye saw several people who were over-weight and probably pre-diabetic (at best). But yes, sunning your private’s would solve all your problems. It was easier then getting off your couch and doing something he supposed.

George and Joe were wandering around the group, assisting where needed and helping everyone get arranged. John was disturbed to find them both naked but he guessed it was hard to sell the idea if you didn’t live it as well.

Sherlock was looking particularly pale this morning which John could have told anyone was his natural state. However it singled him out for special attention from George who asked how he was feeling, looked him up and down (which offended John for some reason) and asked if he’d like some special treatments to help him “on his way to a healthier life”. John seriously wanted to punch him as Sherlock preened and said he’d be delighted. George seemed to remember that Sherlock was “taken” and turned his eyes to John, giving him the once over, then said, “you don’t mind, do you?”

John, happy to notice that he was more endowed than George, wrapped his arm around Sherlock and said, “Not at all but since I’m concerned with his health as well, and I’m curious, I’ll come along. If you don’t mind.” He smiled serenely at George.

The medical man said, “not at all! The more the merrier!” He said he’d send word to their room regarding a time and place as he moved off to the front of the group.

Sherlock turned to him and grinned, “did you just pee on me doctor? Marking your territory?”

John just grumbled, “oh shut it!”

Joe called, “ok everyone, on your backs, legs in the air.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other oddities

To John’s dismay, after the sunning was a nude run. He elbowed Sherlock and said, “oh fuck no! I am not running with a bunch of naked people who are out of shape! Besides, men need support as well as women!”

Sherlock whispered back, “are you worried your junk will bounce? I’ve heard under such conditions your balls retreat closer to your body. Even if you are more endowed than George.”, he added.

John opened his mouth to retort, thought about Sherlock’s comment, smiled and closed his mouth.

To John’s relief, the more endowed women declined the run. The rest of the group went bouncing along after George and Joe. The pace was easy and the run was relatively short which was a damn good thing as John found the run very uncomfortable.

Back in their room, he decided a hot shower was in order. He had to hand it to Mycroft, this was without a doubt one of their weirder cases. Standing under the hot water, he let his mind wander to his bizarre flatmate and found his hand traveling south. He was a little tender, he admitted, but not that tender. However, before he could get going, a voice behind him said, “I could help with that.”

Jumping at the unexpected interruption while also turning around and yelling, “Sherlock! What the fuck!”, he found his “boyfriend” in the shower with him and parts of him seemed interested in the proceedings.

Sherlock took the opportunity to look a wet John up and down, then grinned. “Oh come now John! You’ve spent all morning sunning your anus with me! Modesty at this late date?”

”You do remember that we’re not dating!”, John said while glaring at his friend.

”Not yet at least!”, Sherlock said as he elbowed John out from under the shower head. “Now budge over and quit hogging the water.”

What could he do but move over and listen as Sherlock began his case deductions while he washed his hair.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock explains and plots

John was sitting on their bed wearing just his pants, watching Sherlock, who was still naked, pace up and down their room deducing and explaining.

“As I mentioned in the shower John, the plot is between George and Joe. They’re cousins. Joe owns the building and George is the one with the supposed medical knowledge. They prey on those with health problems or who are otherwise susceptible to quack medicine. The butthole sunning, nude running, bad food and other things are the result. They convince the susceptible to try an alternative lifestyle and then that they’re feeling better so they commit to more and more events as they believe these two are the answer to their prayers. There’s enough pseudoscience to convince those who want to believe.” He paused momentarily.

John leaped in, “The nudity part is a bit weird but I guess that’s what attracts people. Beyond all that though, who killed the banker and why?”

“Three possibilities! But I need to get into their offices to make sure.” Sherlock started pacing again.

“Which you plan to do while you’re getting special treatment tonight?”, John said.

”Yes! But I’ll need your help! Can you walk with me to the meeting but let it be known that you have something to do but will be along shortly?” At John’s nod, he continued, “I’ll go in for the extra treatments but while I’m there, follow Joe! He’s the key!”

”OK, but what am I looking for? And what if George does you in while I’m gone?” John said worriedly.

”He won’t but we’ll be connected by text. If you get “Vatican cameos”, come running. I’ll have my cellphone tracker on as well so you can find me just in case. If it gets really weird I’ll butt dial you so you can listen in. And you’ll know what we’re looking for when you see it!” Sherlock said confidently.

John wasn’t convinced but let himself be led along.

~~~~~~~~

John held his “boyfriend’s” hand as they headed towards George’s office. He still didn’t like the plan but Sherlock wasn’t listening. At the door to the office (in plain site of George and everyone else), John grabbed Sherlock by the collar and pulled his friend to him. Looking deeply into those amazing eyes, he said, “Be careful! And after this case, let’s really talk about us.” Pulling Sherlock even closer, he kissed him soundly.

Patting the stunned detectives arse, he finger waved at George and announced that he’d be along shortly. Smiling at the still stunned detective, he made his way towards Joe’s office where he’d seen the man head minutes before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot (and other things!) thicken!

George watched John walk off then turned to Sherlock with a smile, “Come on in.” He held the door for the detective then followed him into his office. 

George moved behind his desk and gestured for Sherlock to be seated in one of his guest chairs. Taking his seat, he turned and said, “when you booked your stay, you’d mentioned that you had been ill. What was the nature of your ailment?”

”Malaria.”

George’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Don’t believe in vaccinations?”

Sherlock lowered his lashes, “it was a spontaneous trip for work and it never dawned on me that it would be an issue.”

”I understand that the disease is pretty awful. That would explain your appearance then. You’re recovering though,” Sherlock nodded, “but would like to try alternatives to traditional medicine?”

Sherlock leaned forward and said, “I just want to feel like myself again. I’m so tired of doctors and pills and such. I was hoping your clinic could help supplement my recovery.”

George leaned forward, “I’m sure we can help. Would you remove your clothes, please?”

~~~~~~~~~

John hurried to the door of Joe’s office. He really didn’t like leaving Sherlock alone with George. He had taken the precaution of having his earbud in just in case Sherlock called so he could listen in on the conversation. Somehow he wasn’t surprised when he was connected almost immediately.

John saw Joe talking to someone in his office so casually leaned against the wall like he was waiting for someone. He was watching Joe when Sherlock’s conversation clicked on in his ear.

”Malaria.”, said Sherlock’s voice.

”Oh good one.”, John thought as he watched Joe sit down at his desk. “”That would explain your appearance.”, said George’s voice. John felt himself getting pissy. “Sherlock was gorgeous and absolutely perfect! There was nothing wrong with his appearance! Fuck George, the fucking quack!” He was flexing his hands he realized as he watched Joe pick up his phone and start yelling at someone when he heard, “would you remove your clothes please.” Standing upright, he muttered, “oh fuck no!”, and strode back to where he’d left Sherlock.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BAMF to the rescue

John didn’t try to reason out his actions, he just went. Striding purposely towards George’s office, he wasn’t aware of people moving out of his way or the admiring eyes. All he knew was someone was trying to take advantage of the man he was in love with and it wasn’t going to happen.

Strolling past George’s secretary with hardly a glance, he walked up to the closed office door and pushed it open.

Sherlock, naked, was standing on George’s desk. George, rapidly becoming naked, was pacing around the desk, eyeing Sherlock eagerly and discussing “treatments”. He was obviously hard, which John admitted, who wouldn’t be. He jumped when John walked in.

“You started without me!”, John exclaimed. He advanced into the room and started unbuttoning his shirt. “Give me a second to catch up.” He dropped his shirt to the floor, toed out of his shoes, and starting working on his jeans. “George,”, he said calmly, “why don’t you explain this treatment while I work myself out of my pants.”

Sherlock thrust out a hip in John’s direction and batted his lashes. John had to bite back a laugh. George saw none of this, just tried to find something to say that would explain this.

John continued, “See Sherlock means the world to me and I almost lost him to the malaria. With that in mind, I’m all for alternative treatments to supplement,” (John was naked now as well), “but I’d like to know what those treatments are and what benefits they have.” He began walking around the room (and unlike George, John was showing to advantage). “So, lets start with the nudity.”

George gulped and John could see his erection diminishing. He smirked to himself as he started pacing and talking, “see, I’m curious about the nudity. I can’t tell if you’re doing this for your own entertainment,”, he stopped in front of George’s diploma wall, “University of the Bahamas? Not surprised.” He continued, “or if you’re just a different kind of pervert.” Here he looked George up and down. “What do you think Sherlock?”

His “boyfriend” hopped down from the desk which he then leaned nonchalantly against and said, “oh he’s a total pervert. Likes to expose himself to anything with a pulse, man, women, cockatiel, doesn’t matter.”

George gulped and said, “But, I didn’t... No. Who are you guys?”

”Cockatiel? That’s a new one.” John walked casually around George. “So how exactly does this con work Sherlock?”

”It’s about what we thought. Lure the gullible in and convince them that they feel better. Throw in the nudity for George’s own yucks as well as blackmail, if need be, and they start convincing people to give their life savings to them. Joe is the money guy, George has a “diploma” from a half-baked university and together they work their magic.” Sherlock looked George up and down. “Got in over your head with the banker though didn’t you?”

”You’re too smart for your own good.”, said a voice from the doorway. Joe was standing there with a gun pointed at John. “Now, on the floor both of you.” Sherlock and John reluctantly got on the floor. “George, grab their clothes and let’s get out of here. It’s time to go!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WTF was that John!

They both heard the lock click after George and Joe but John tried the door anyway. “Locked!”, he yelled and kicked the door. Cursing and hopping around the room, he turned to his “boyfriend”. “Any bright ideas?”

“Seriously? This from the man who big dick walked into a room, took his clothes off, preened, made fun of the bad guy’s degree, had his clothes stolen and kicked a door with his bare foot? If I sneezed it would be more intelligent than your recent actions.” Sherlock said as he made his way to the window. “I told you to stick with Joe.”

“I came to save you! And we’re not going out the window!”, John said. “I’m naked.” He gestured at himself.

Sherlock turned in amazement, “do you listen to yourself? You’ve shown your cock to everyone in this building at least once today. And you’re only naked because you were trying to emasculate George.” Turning back to the window, he added, “and I didn’t need to be saved!”

”Oh really?”, John came over to the window and helped Sherlock wrestle it open. “You were naked in a room with a fake doctor who was removing his clothes and had an erection!” The window groaned open.

”Oh please! He’s not the first pervert I’ve ever had to fend off.”, Sherlock swung a leg out the window. “Coming?”

”Oh fuck me! Yes,” John motioned Sherlock to get going, “shove over.”

~~~~~~~

Once out the window and on the ground, Sherlock took off running towards the parking lot. John reluctantly followed.

Arriving at the parking area, Sherlock held up and looked around. He saw taillights in the distance. “Ah fuck me!”, Sherlock yelled. Turning to his flatmate, he said, “why are you moving so slow?”

John just looked at him, “Seriously?! Running without support hurts.”

”Why is everything tonight about your dick!”, Sherlock yelled. John just stared in amazement. “We need to catch up with them. Grab your balls if you must but we need to go now. If your junk hurts, I’ll make it feel better later.”, and he took off again towards the main building, pale butt cheeks bouncing.

”I’ll hold you to that!” John said as he sighed, grabbed his balls and took off after Sherlock.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m still naked.”

Following Sherlock’s pale arse cheeks to the main building, John wasn’t surprised to see his flatmate run up to the main door, open it and disappear inside. John entered in time to see him at the main desk asking for a copy of their key as they’d misplaced theirs. The attendant didn’t bat an eye at the large, gorgeous, naked man in front of her, just checked his information and handed over a copy.

Sherlock turned, saw John standing a few feet away with his hand modestly covering himself, rolled his eyes and said, “seriously? Come on John! We’re losing them!” He took off towards their room.

Following in Sherlock’s wake, he caught up as the detective opened their door and ran in. John went immediately to the closet to get clothes but Sherlock grabbed him, “we don’t have time for that!” He shoved his tablet into John’s hand and grabbed the car keys as he headed for the door.

“Where are we going?”, John asked as he ran after the infuriating naked man.

Sherlock headed out one of the side doors to their vehicle and climbed in. Opening John’s door for him, he started the car as he explained. “They took our clothes including our phones. They aren’t the brightest boys so probably aren’t thinking about us being able to track them. I’m guessing they threw our clothes into the backseat and forgot about them.”

John had since opened the tablet, thanked heaven for their mobile plan and got to the correct application. “They’re heading north and aren’t that far ahead of us. Well at least our phones aren’t.”

“Of course not. Morons!”

John laughed, “well it’s not everyone who would chase down a couple of murderous con artists naked!”

Sherlock smirked as he took a turn. “Send Mycroft a message. Let him know we’re in pursuit so he can send backup. Are they still on this road”

John checked the status. “Yes. There’s a parallel road coming up on the right if you want to get in front of them.”

”Excellent! If you could just get over your hang ups on nudity, you’d be an excellent sidekick.” Sherlock smirked.

John just rolled his eyes and didn’t comment on his friend’s driving, nudity or anything else.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The (naked) takedown

“Jesus Christ Sherlock!”, John braced himself as his friend took the turn on two wheels. “If we wreck before we get the bad guys, we’re just two naked perverts who can’t drive. Slow down!”

Sherlock ignored him, of course, but did slow down marginally. “Where are they? Are we ahead of them yet?”

John checked George and Joe’s location again and announced, reluctantly, that they were now ahead and could probably intercept them at the next turn.

Sherlock, of course, sped up.

At the intersecting road, Sherlock made the turn. John suddenly had a thought, “wait, we don’t know what their vehicle looks like.” 

”Well let’s hope they’re the only ones on the road.”, Sherlock replied.

At the intersection, John could see one set of headlights coming towards them. Sherlock pulled out into the intersection and stopped. John braced his feet but the other car slowed down and Joe leaned out the window to yell. “What the fuck! Get the fuck out of the way!” He made to go around them.

Sherlock floored the accelerator when Joe got in front of them, slamming the other car into a lamp post. The occupants didn’t get out immediately, probably stunned at the sheer insanity, when Sherlock yelled, “Now John!” Both men leaped from their vehicle and ran towards the other. 

Later, John would cringe at the mental image of a two car wreck with two naked men leaping from their car to accost the occupants of the other. They had to look like escaped lunatics at best. Or, watching his naked flatmate throw open George’s door, pull him out and throw him on the ground, victims of a sex crime. Joe opened his door and took off. John went after him. Even without shoes, John managed to catch up with Joe and did a flying body-tackle, taking Joe down. John managed to pin him to the ground when three cop cars pulled up, lights flashing.

The part that would make John cringe for years though was Mycroft’s voice saying, “oh dear god, does anyone have a camera? I know what my next Christmas cards are going to be!.”


	13. And To Wrap It Up John!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock sparkles

Sherlock held the door to their room for John, entered himself and closed it, talking the whole time. “So they were blackmailing the banker. They threatened to expose, literally, pictures of him sunning his arse as well as his buying into quack medicine. George went to his office to collect the blackmail money but the banker said no more so Joe shot him.”

John had entered their room, listening intently, and leaned against the wall to remove his shoes (their clothes and phones had been in the wrecked car although Sherlock hadn’t been in a hurry to get dressed until Mycroft asked if he needed help). Moving to their make-shift “kitchen”, he began making tea and getting out the last of the biscuits as he listened and watched Sherlock pacing the room, gesturing wildly as he talked.

Finally Sherlock stopped, grabbed his tea and took a sip. “Now, I believe I owe you something.” Coming towards John, he crowded him up against the closet door and kissed him soundly. “This case was a seven at least but it brought our feelings to the forefront so that makes it a ten plus.” He continued leisurely kissing his flatmate, adding, “and if you let me, I’ll spend a lifetime proving them.”

John felt as if his bones were melting and the only thing keeping him upright was the gorgeous man holding onto him. Sherlock moved down his neck and started unbuttoning his shirt, “I’d fought my feelings for so long but when you came into George’s office and started removing your clothes, I knew I was absolutely in love with you.” In between the words, Sherlock was exploring with his hands and lips. Standing tall, he wrapped his large hands around John’s buttocks and ground him against his erection. John moaned loudly. Sherlock continued, “I don’t have a lot of experience with this kind of thing but if you’ll be patient, I’ll make you the happiest man and love you forever.” He had moved to his knees at this point and unbuttoned John’s jeans, pushing them and his pants down his thighs. John’s beautiful erection sprang free.

Sherlock licked his lips then looked at John quizzically, “are you ok? Should I wait?”

John felt light headed as he looked at the beautiful man at his feet, “I’m fine! Please! I’ve been waiting so long to see that mouth on my cock!”

”Well if you’re sure...”, Sherlock smiled and licked John from root to tip. John let out a howl.

**Author's Note:**

> The research for this has been bizarre. And there are pictures! My mind hurts. And in case you’re curious, nude running is a thing. There is also a frame by frame video showing how the penis bounces during such situations. I kid you not! You can’t make this freakiness up!
> 
> And I do need to thank my wonderful spouse Tony who doesn’t even flinch when I say, “dear, could you lay down and let me see if this pose is possible?” Love you baby!


End file.
